This sex thing. It’s a big deal, huh?

I was sitting with some acquaintances in the common room, between a lecture on something-I-don’t-care-about, while waiting for the next on something-I-will-never-care-about-ever. The boys were discussing the problems with the female species around them. You know, in typical guy mode, when no 25 year old woman likes you because you act like you’re still 12, the problem is so obviously with them.

                Boy 1: Well they are all NSBMs.

I looked around the group and everyone seemed to know what that meant. Crap. I could feel another ‘MILF’ moment coming on (i.e. I found out what MILF meant about 2 years after it had come into general circulation. Yes, I am a prude, and no, I don’t read urban dictionary...often. Moving on...).

                Me: Guys, what’s NSM..?

                Boy 1: NSBM?

                *Insert plenty of chuckling semi-broken voices here*

                ‘It’s a no-sex-before-marriage girl.’

Really?! I mean, really?! Is it that big a deal? So much so, that you’ve devised a T.L.A (totally ludicrous acronym), that most certainly does not roll off the tongue?! The boys carried on with their conversation, claiming that these girls were fawning over them (on the inside clearly, cause I couldn’t see any evidence of this), but that their NSBM status was a NO-NO for the boys. FML (I don’t think I need to spell this one out, but I need to find me some new acquaintances, ASAP).

I completely forgot about this incident until it came up in conversation with HD (Harley-Davidson, previous post) a few weeks later. He laughed and then broke it down for me in girl-speak. A boy that is so concerned about NSBM status has probably only ever had sex once before, hence he is acting as though it’s such a big F***ing deal (pun intended), and will announce this to everyone even when no one is listening. He is also probably pretty average (pretty and average, pretty but average...hmm, don’t know what’s worse) in bed, and that one time, he was such a disappointment that the girl walked out with a knowing nod and a sympathetic ‘well done’. He also pointed out that any self-respecting, mature male (such as him and his friends), didn’t talk about it because: (i) he had experienced a previously fulfilling sexual relationship and therefore wasn’t bothered, or, (ii) he was someone that respected a/his woman so much that he definitely wouldn’t care about her status. He likened it to the fact that boys are always quick to make jokes about gay men being promiscuous, but the truth was, that other than being bigoted, they were jealous that a man was getting some, and they weren’t. Ouch.

I don’t really know if HD was right or not, and I haven’t thought about it much since then.  I did see one of the young ‘uns recently though, and it was all I could do to stop myself from laughing in his face and shouting ‘one-hit-average-wonder’. Good thing I didn’t. Apparently 12 year old boys often have no qualms about hitting a lady.