I spent the weekend with one of my closest friends (you know the one:so similar to you, like a sister, and so you have little else choice but to be friends? Yes, that one). We were having a mammoth catch up session where I filled her in on my boy-related angst, and she said something that struck a chord (in A major, might I say). It appears that throughout my teenage years and early tweenies, I have collected love and lust interests, but completely failed to move on from discarded ones. So I am trying to keep in touch with all the boys, and be nice to all the boys, and well, losing all the boys as well. I really should read my own blog more often- my first post on conversations seems relevant now.
Anyway, so back to my Christmas story, and the reason for that quote.
Boy #1: 458 Italia Ferrari (the one that caught fire every time it got hot).
458 and I have a chequered past. He was my first 'serious' boyfriend in university. I was 18 at the time, and still idealistic. I had known him for a few years prior to our short-lived relationship, and he ticked all the right boxes, so I shut off the still small voice of reason, convinced all my friends that he was 'a bad boy gone good', and gave us a chance. Unfortunately I forgot to send the same memo to 458 and so he ended up keeping his ex-girlfriend close by- not really his ex at this point. I found this out after a night of cuddles and kisses, when I woke up to find him chatting on msn to said lady. So I left, a little broken and with a dark cynical view of the world. Many moons later, 458 and I repaired our broken friendship by ignoring the reason it broke, and started talking again. This Christmas, he gave me a series of well thought out dates, conversations with his mother, and showed me how well he would get on with my family. He then, as a final gift, asked me to take a chance on him as he has never been more sure of anything in his life as he is about us (I think 458 started watching Days of our Lives at some point). There is a minor issue of 8000km between us, and the fact that I don't trust him, but like any determined man (c.f. Don Draper of Mad Men), he has an answer to every problem. So here I am, trying to move on with my life, but really, all I am doing is repackaging 458 to see how he would look in the future. Yes, yes, I know. It's still bullshit, and will remain so. But it is a 458, aren't these supposed to be classic collectable convertibles, when they're not on fire?!
Boy #2: 1978 Harley -Davidson FXS (first year of full factory made motorcylces. You need bad-ass leather for this one).
Oh Harley, baby. This one is a little complicated. Harley-Davidson (HD), is a good friend of the family. He is also much older than I am, and has the 2 kids from 2 different women to prove it. He is really nice, and knows how to treat a lady. We've have had intermittent romantic inclinations towards each other for a few years, so this summer, I decided to don my helmet, and jump on the proverbial bike. While it was a great experience, it was a bit of a life crisis, as is often the case with motorbikes and old men. So just before the holidays, I decided to end things, sell my bike, and search the market for a more reliable Citroen of VW Golf.
HD was having none of it though. This is the first time that I have had to break up with the same person on two separate occasions without any mixed signals in the interim. My first attempt was met with a rather cold, but final: 'No baby. I don't want to let you go, and I don't know how you don't see a future for us'. The second attempt was more brutal and he 'understood my point of view, but thought we had a beautiful thing going, so if I wanted to ruin that, OK' and then... TOTAL silence. He has completely refused to speak to me, which I guess works well for my earlier problem of not getting rid of the past. It just feels weird. You have a 1978 FXS: it is special. They were only sold in one colour for a whole year!!! You don't throw such away, you keep them to show your kids when they are all grown.
Boy #3: Snowboard (needs something/someone on top of him at all times).
This is another relic of times gone by: we were good together, but it was the wrong time for either of us. Snowboard is lovely: he is a true gentleman (most of the time anyway), he talks about his feelings, and he is seriously good looking. But he has one fatal flaw: he is incredibly needy. I noticed the signs a few months ago, but ignored it, as we were dealing with a friendship situation, and I had probably been a lot less friendly than usual. Things spiralled out of control when he decided that he can fall in love with me but needs to know what I think. It's probably the most odd request for a relationship yet.
Snowboard: Hun, I enjoy talking to you and I miss you a lot. Do you miss me? Huh?
Me: Eh, yes I do.
Snowboard: I could love you hun, cause I think I really like you. What are you feeling?!
I asked for a little time, while I devised a way to let him down gently. He then proceeded to call me when drunk, demanding to see me immediately. He would throw tantrums if ever we were in the same place because I did not drop my friends and family and run into his arms. Heaven forbid if I didn't return a phone call or reply a text message. Phwoar. I took many hasty steps back when the madness began, as it pointed to what one can expect from a relationship. Especially after the 'I need you right now' phone calls (yes, there was more than one). Got to be stepping on the snowboard at all times, or it's just another piece of wood and unfortunately for us both, I can't handle that.
Boy #4: Is it a horse, is it a plane, is it a bike?!
I don't know what to call this one, and I can't really say very much about him, lest I jinx it, but also because it would not be fair on him. He is seriously hot though, Barry White has nothing on his voice, and other than the fact that he is about 14 years older than I am, I am quite smitten. Only time (which he might not have a lot of...Oops), will tell.
In the words of Buble: It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me....and I'm feeling good.....
Men men men men manly men men men...
ReplyDelete