Devils Inc.or Lucifer (2)

This post is a little late as diary clashes meant Lucifer only ended up coming to visit later, but for the sake of continuity, I’ll ignore the little hiatus...

The plan was discussed, he said he’d get a hotel close by, and I nervously waited for his arrival. #4 on the other hand was hustling my arse (not literally, unfortunately), so I was feeling like a P.I.M.P, juggling texts between two seemingly pursuing gentlemen. I went to the gym 3 times that week. A girl doesn't want to be looking loose, in the bodily sense. In the carnal sense, that was an entirely different matter; one that I hadn't quite sorted out yet. I felt that I would be enlightened as to whether or not we would engage in any extra-curricular activities once he arrived. Thursday night he rang.

Luc: Babe

Me: Heeey... (I need to stop it with this high pitched voice any time an XY calls me).

Luc: We still on for tomorrow?

Me: Yeah. You want to come?

Luc: You still want me to come?

And so forth with the sexual innuendo. Eventually we worked out a plan of action. Luc arrived two hours’ late (which reminded me of some of the reasons we couldn’t date- he was a little inconsiderate), but with wine and take-away. I was dressed to go out for dinner, but he wanted to spend time ‘talking and bonding’. His words, not mine. I changed out of my ‘come hither heels’, took off my coat and sat on my bed in a revealing ensemble. Alarm bells were going off in my head, but I wasn’t sure why.

Luc: So you’re day was ok?

Me: Yeah. You?

Then my phone rang. As fate would have it, my phone was in his lap (I am technologically handicapped, and Lucifer likes to make sure I am living in the 21^st century, so he was updating my phone). It was a very tipsy #4 calling. Lucifer decided to perform his second (the first was how he got my phone) good deed of the day, so he picked up. #4 began to tell Lucifer about un-Christian thoughts he had towards me. Confessions to the devil! Fancy that! My hands remained paralysed at my side until I heard ‘Babe. Say something’. I jumped across my little bedroom and grabbed my phone.

Me: Hey...

#4: You’re ignoring me?

Me: No, I couldn’t hear you properly.

#4: NKT. (I swear, he actually clicked at me then hung up).

I started laughing but stopped abruptly when 3 seconds later, Lucifer got up and started packing.

Me: What now?

Lucifer: That was him? You love him. You didn’t tell me...

Me: I will ignore that. What’s wrong? What are you doing?

Lucifer: I love you.

I realised very quickly that this wasn’t our standard good bye ‘love you’ line. This felt like an ‘I am in love with you’. Demons. Arise. Report to your master for duty. Lucifer was bringing out the artillery of feelings.

Me: This is new.

Lucifer: That’s the best you can manage? ‘This is new?’ F**k this.

The bells in my mind were now in chorus, singing ‘I got 99 problems....’ I was quickly learning how NOT to handle a man being emotional. Lucifer walked out of my room and slammed the door. My housemate opened her door to check what was happening. After all, there was a strange man in the house and she could hear angry noises. I followed him down the stairs, with her in tow.

Me: Wait, let’s talk. Are you seriously angry at me? We were joking about this last week. Now?

Lucifer: You took me for granted. You used me. You’re... (I was doubting the XY at this point. You used me. What now?!)

He stopped talking and walked to his car. He got in it and slammed the door so hard, I heard it across the street. He sped off, leaving me standing at the front door in a scandalous dress with my entire house behind me, asking for an explanation. I stood there, part smiling, part feeling cheated. You see what Lucifer had done was dangle the forbidden fruit, whose sweetness I have personally experienced, and then he decided to take it away. Now I fully understand the meaning of ‘cocktease’, except in this case it was the other thing. My night had gone from hero to zero in the matter of minutes. I tried calling #4 -straight to voicemail. I would have to handle his Clickness (clickness...highness) later. I called Lucifer.

‘Dude, come back. You’re being a little dramatic.’

‘Leave me alone.’ See, making my point for me.

So I did. I called the girls and we went dancing. Lucifer has still refused to speak to me. He tells me this though, so I feel like it’s ok because actions speak louder than words. He may have had a point. I may have been using him as an ego boost, but let’s be honest, his intentions were far more dishonourable, using me to relieve a dry spell. Also, that was a complete misread of our contract. Why was he catching feelings (i.e. getting emotional over a purely physical relationship)?! I thought only girls did that. At least I have made money off my friends who bet that I would chicken out. This week: debt collection. Diamonds preferred.

Monday's mantra: friends with benefits don’t work. Make sure it’s an enemy. And...I'm a truly rubbish PIMP. *sad eyes*.