Mecontentement....

I discovered that I am a little opinionated. I say a little, that might be understating things. Here are a few things that annoy me, and the things that go through my head but are never said out loud.

1. Capital letters in text messages, emails or instant messages, not associated with a proper noun, start of a sentence or acronym. WTF?!
2. Actually, poor grammar is quite annoying. There’s a lot to be said for being well spoken: at least you won’t constantly need to prove that you’re not an idiot, which is what we all think when someone says ‘f’ instead of ‘th’ i.e. Souff London. Seriously?!
3. Dirt. Dirty people. Dirty things. Is there any reason the kitchen sink or the wall behind the sink, or the cooker, or the microwave or kitchen floor should be dirty?! Only someone with desires to be a rat or a pigeon would find this a tenable situation. Your pick. This also applies to the toilet or shower/bath: clean after use should be intuitive; they are self-cleaning after all. If there is still evidence of your person in the room after you use it, you’ve done a crap job at cleaning yourself.
4. Crocs. The most disgusting shoes in the world. Uggs worn outdoors, but perhaps I fail to understand this fashion trend.
5. Rosé wine. Make your mind up.
6. Indecisiveness. The only time this is acceptable is when searching for a bar, club or restaurant, or when looking at a menu. It is simply frustrating at all other times- if it’s not going to kill you, freaking pick one already (I occasionally fail to take this advice and annoy myself).
7. I hate not being able to eat dessert first. Argh. I might do something about this soon.
8. Bad music. And any song that has anything to do with Pitbull.
9. English sports fans. Unless they watch golf, in tweed, with huge umbrellas. Then, I love them.
10. Moody friends. If you’re annoyed, tell me. If I’ve messed up, I’ll often feel like an idiot and apologise. If I haven’t, voicing your issues will help you come to the same conclusion about yourself. Either way, get over it. We’re over 20 and the end of our lives draweth nigh.
11. Conversations about religion and politics with people you don’t know. Judgemental.
12. If you are going to argue for the sake of it, or for something that you know nothing about or care little for, do it away from me. All I can think about is sharpening a steak knife and slowly removing your lips so that anything you say will sound funny, and then I’ll probably call you an idiot. Just for banter.
13. Holding hands and PDA in general: if I let you put your sweaty phalanges around mine for an extended period of time without feeling like the world is ending, I seriously love you.

Another instalment of annoying things will come your way soon. I need a month to find more things that I feel strongly about (though one may rightly conclude that I don’t need that long).